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♥ Lauren`

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September 23rd, 2007
 i have the best boyfriend in the world.
he brought his calculator lab and brilliant mind to my house,
and didn't stop teaching me how to work the calculator until i had it down perfectly =]

i feel sooooo much better.

3-2-1 (1) TAKEOFF!

September 23rd, 2007

Yayyy Ethan problems solved =]
Yesterday evening we went to roaster's.
The car ride there + walking to it we were both still kindof mad.
But then it got better once we went in roasters and talked on the couch.
Then we talked & laughed while walking back to the car and in the car.
We went to my house.
Then we went and rented movies.
Lauren couldn't spend the night, due to Kristina & I having volunteer work at noon today. 
So just Kristina came at 8.
We watched without a paddle and part of the butterfly effect which sucked btw.
Soo anyways at my house, before Kristina and after,
Ethan and I were extremely cuddly and cute.
So we're back to good.<3

Today I was a volunteer at a picnic for recovering cancer patients.
Certain parts were sad; some people made touching speeches.
But the kids were all smiling and I felt like a good person.
I helped with food and snow cones and talking to people.
At one point they did an activity where everyone released a butterfly.
They were really pretty, and symbolized the feeling of butterflies and fear
while hearing the word "cancer" and being diagnosed,
changing/recovering like a butterfly does while in the cacoon,
and then flying free to live a better life in a better place,
other than a hospital room.
It was a really cool moment.

Ughh, I have to make up the calculator quiz for chem in the morning =/
and I forgot the lab we did with instructions.
So basically, I'm screwed. As usual.
I suck at that class aaahhhh. 
I would realllyyyy like for Ethan to come over...
but he would need to talk to me first
he lost his phone,
and no one is picking up the house.
It's like disconnected or something.
He imed me AND left me a pleading comment
like 5 mins before I got on.
And now he walked away or something.
I need my boyfrannn.
Tomorrow will suck. I have gym, it's B day, and chem quiz.

=[ Oh, and today is the first day of fall.
goodbye summer</3
..Soooo not ready for a whole week of school.

This coming weekend - I WILL go out. and do illegal things.


3-2-1 (0) TAKEOFF!

September 22nd, 2007

Last night concluded that football game night just never works out for me.
Ethan always ends up being upset, + other drama. but this time it happened earlier in the day.
I feel really bad, when I do stupid things to fuck stuff up. 
I hate it when he's upset, and I hate making anyone upset in general. 
It's just a really bad feeling. :[
So last night I thought maybe I'd fix things,
by having him stop by and talking to me about it in person after he took Lauren home.
Didn't work.
The ending of that one was pretty bad...
But we "talked" on the phone later. 
It was more like one of those comfortable silence kindof deals.
Not necessarily comfortable,
but an area of time in which two people are on the phone,
just to have the feeling of being one step closer to them being there.
So in a way, a comfort.
I think that made things slightly better, but in a different way.
I don't know what's going to happen today,
but I hope it gets better and we can fix this.
We can. 
He just needs to know that I'm always going to be here.
I wouldn't leave over emotions.

I do have plans for tonight though :]
Kristina & Laurennnn.
They're coming over,
& we shall have fun
because they are vwotever and I love them both dearly.
So no matter what happens, I will have them later.
I'm glad I'm updating this again.

au revoir <3

3-2-1 (1) TAKEOFF!

September 19th, 2007

i'm going to start updating this with small entries; i miss the lj days.
i've had some reallyreally great weekends.. the end of summer was the shit. 
dating ethan again. since regatta weekend. so far so good, i've made him happy which is a pretty big accomplishment. i'm happy too. school is pretty good this year, but the classes are getting harder. i'm in chem which i ask myself everyday why the fuck i am?

3-2-1 (2) TAKEOFF!

May 2nd, 2007
la la la speech classsss

3-2-1 (0) TAKEOFF!

May 1st, 2007
i'm in speech again. this is the only time i'm ever motivated to update this haha.. so,

it's funny how things are perfect and one little mistake can lead to just fucking everything up.
things were great a week ago, now they're shit. way to go (:
3-2-1 (0) TAKEOFF!

April 6th, 2007
i'm at school in speech class..ew. ethan isn't here and he's like the only sophomore in this class, AND he's going out with lauren vassel now. ew again.


at least after today is spring break..
3-2-1 (0) TAKEOFF!

things lately. [Tuesday
April 3rd, 2007

so brendon & i have broken up for good. we have been for about a week 1/2 now. it's for the better, except he's so shitty to me lately. i can't stand it. he's just a total dick most of the time. he's still controlling over me too. he's  just insane. but i'm dealing with it, i think that situation is slowly getting better. i've realized that having people to talk to makes me feel a lot better. i've been talking to remmy lately. he's coooool. & sweet. lol. i don't know how i feel about him exactly though. i've also become good friends with ethan over like the span of a month. but it's cool. this past sunday night i went to the movies and then maggie moos with him. we saw blades of glory which was really funny. all together that evening was quite cute and fun, just like him. :] i don't know if that will go anywhere, but we'll see. i'm fine just being friends though because he's pretty effing awesome. ughh i hate the crystal cave book that we're reading for english. i'm currently copying down summaries for it. ew. my phone's taken away until saturday. i went over it again, what a surprise haha. i hope spring break is fun this year. i'm not going anywhere again, but hopefully it'll end up being a good one spent with fun people that make me laugh. alright back to this book skfhdsghskjhgz. i'll update my el jay occasionally like this, so don't delete me because i'm still going to use it sometimes.

3-2-1 (1) TAKEOFF!

February 17th, 2007
i haven't updated in a such a long time. i'm going to use this entry to complain about myself.. because i've realized some really shitty, awful qualities about myself tonight. & i just want to get it all out. people will probably think i'm psychotic after posting this, but whatever. i actually really don't feel comfortable saying the things i truly want to say on this live journal anymore because i know that people i know are going to read it. 

first of all, i'm a complete hypocrite.
i talk about how bad people look every single day. i talk about what they're wearing, how their makeup looks, whether they're fat or not. or i'll mention how much weight they've gained. horrible stuff like that. i've gained weight myself, and i'm not that skinny anymore. like at all. so why do i talk about other people like that.. i also have my ugly days. i'm really not that pretty. & i feel self-concious a lot. my makeup is always smudged. sometimes what i wear looks really stupid. i can be really awkward, and yet i make fun of how awkward other people are. i talk shit. a lot. sometimes about people that i don't even know. i'm not a good person, i'm not a good friend, i'm certainly not a good girlfriend either. & i'm sorry. but brendon isn't a good boyfriend sometimes either. and i've had some really shitty friends. so i tend to talk about these shitty friends, and my bad boyfriend. i'm a hypocrite. who likes hypocrites? i don't. but i am one. i've really been annoying myself lately, and i'm annoying myself right now with all of these run on sentences complaining about myself. i sound like some weird girl with low self esteem.

the other day i said to someone, "yeah i honestly don't care if other people like what i'm wearing or not." ... definately not true. i care SO much about what other people think. i'm paranoid and i hold grudges. if anything about me looks awkward, it's on my mind all day & i worry about it. it's a really pointless quality to have, and i wish i just didn't care. sometimes i like to pretend i don't.

i'm also a bitch. i talk bad about a lot of people. some of which are people that really care about me and are always nice to me. if i'm walking in a public place and someone's with me, i'll whisper something to them about someone nearby who i think looks stupid. i also think that random girls are whores sometimes. if a girl looks trashy and has a trashy looking friend with her, i'm like "ha what a whore".. maybe those girls are some of the nicest people around. how the fuck would i know? that's why i'm a bitch. i judge. i judge way too much for my own good and it's ugly. 

i'm really materialistic. i will only buy jeans and clothes from certain stores. i follow the crowd when i wish i could be an individual. i really like hollister and abercrombie, and it annoys me. i truely do like the stores, but for some reason i annoy myself for wearing hollister all the time. it just makes me feel really unoriginal. i try to be fashionable sometimes, but i don't take it to the next level. i try things that i know are "safe" i don't wear anything too outrageous, because i don't want people to talk about how stupid i look. i wish i could wear something outrageous without caring what people think. but instead i take the safe way out and wear what everyone else does. i'm ridiculous.

i laugh at peoples flaws, even when i have my own. i just need to learn to be a better person. i also steal from hollister all the time. lots and lots of shirts & other things. it makes me feel guilty. it's not about the economy, but it all traces back to god. if there is a god, i know that i'm a pretty bad sinner. and i'm sorry. i'm sorry for being such a terrible person because of all these qualities and bad habits. 

phew. glad i got that stuff out. if you actually read all of it, you must think i'm realllyyyyy negative. i'm pretty negative, but not as much as you think. i'm going to brendon's tomorrow. we didn't get to hang out today, so tomorrow should be fun. i'll try to be nice to him all day. that would be a first. i'm going to bed. goodnight.
3-2-1 (4) TAKEOFF!

May 23rd, 2006

so i'm sitting here by ariel in the libraryyyy.
i should be in english right now, but umm .. no thanks.
i hear we have a really harsh sub in there today so i'll pass, haha.
& wow, i haven't updated my lj in foreverrrr. poor lj :[
but yeah so my life lately..
i'm just trying to get my grades up & i'm waiting for school to end.
i had my dance recital thing this past weekend and it was fun.
i'm glad it's over with for the year though.
i have mixed feelings about school ending.
i reallyreallyreally want it to be summer, but then again..
i also really need some more time to bring my grades up so that i'm okay.
i'm really worried about it. last time i checked i still have D in history
and a D in algebra.. blahhh. wtf. so i have to go to summer school 
if i don't get a C or higher in math.
fuck me.
but yeah the man is in here so uh..

3-2-1 (3) TAKEOFF!

April 22nd, 2006
sorry i haven't updated in like a week. my spring break has been pretty good, but i'm pissed that tommorow is the last day. i really really really don't want to go back to school. but i need to bring my grades up before semester. hopefully i'll be successful with that .. haha. whatever man i just want it to be summer. but i am glad that it's warm and sunny and nice weather now. we don't have that much time left unitl school is officially out, so i'll live. i'm at kristinas house. i just got here like 10 mins ago. hopefully we'll have fun. i wanted to do something again before spring break is over. so, yeah. did everyone have a good spring break? i hope you did [: .. sorry i didn't say much in here, there's nothing to write about as usual.

3-2-1 (3) TAKEOFF!

happy easter [: [Sunday
April 16th, 2006
[ mood | content ]

lmao.. before i posted this entry, i accidently posted it on quote whore. woops. so thankfully i deleted it in time.

i'm thinkin about my doorbell when ya gonna ring it, when ya gonna ring it? good song. happy easter! mine has been okay so far, of course kind of boring because i've been in my house all day. but i got an easter basket as usual haha.. this morning i skipped down the stairs like i was 7 years old and went to go find it. it was loaded with candy and some nail polish, & of course a chocolate bunny. haha. i would have been sad if i didn't get one this year.. you're never too old for the easter bunny, kids [; we're eating easter dinner soon so i'm gonna go. i hope everyones making the best of their easter even though they'd probably rather be somewhere else right now. tommorow we can all go back to spring break mode. woo. ♥

3-2-1 (5) TAKEOFF!

sick, still. [Sunday
April 2nd, 2006
[ mood | sick ]

i pretty much have to go to school tommorow. i think i feel worse, or the same i have felt for the past 5 days. i have NO IDEA how i'm going to make it through school tommorow. i have a feeling i'll end up staying home tommorow and going to the doctor, because i haven't been yet. then they'll probably put me on an antibiotic, give me a doctor's excuse, and tell me to stay home for 2 more days. something along those lines. goddd. i feel like shit. i just feel really empty because my body is really hungry but i'm not. i just can't eat anything. i feel like i want to throw up but theres nothing to throw up. and ahh.. i just feel horrible. my mouth has a bitter, disgusting taste in it. i think i've lost like 4 pounds. that's not a bad thing. but i still feel really bad. blehhh. whatever man. i just hope i feel alright tommorow. but i know i won't. =\

3-2-1 (3) TAKEOFF!

March 30th, 2006
i have the flu. it blows. but it's sort of nice laying in bed all day & eating popsicles. i just really don't wanna make up the work. i'll probably stay home tommorow too. i was suppose to re-run the mile run today, so im kind of worried how i can make it up.. watch me have to take gym 9 over. aah that would really suck. if anyone's in mrs. roger's english, please comment & tell me what we did today. i'm gonna go back to bed now.

3-2-1 (12) TAKEOFF!

March 22nd, 2006
Come on, just do it. I'd do it for you [: ♥

Dear ______

You make me ________. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You = ________. If I saw you now I'd __________. I would build a _______ just for you. I would get your name tattooed on my __________. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could drink __________ under the stars. My love for you is like that of ____________.


(P.S. ______________.)
3-2-1 (1) TAKEOFF!

March 22nd, 2006
yeah im sitting here with sarah. kbye
3-2-1 (0) TAKEOFF!

March 3rd, 2006
tgif [;

i'm soo glad it's friday. wow. you know how this year has gone by really fast? is it just me or does it seem like it's slowing down? haha, i think it does this every year. at one point you just say to yourself [or at least i do] "okay, i've had enough. where is summer.. i need it. now." well, i'm definetly to that point now. i haven't updated this in a while. myspace really does suck you in, haha. so now it's time for me to update you on my current complaints & annoyances. i'm sick and tired of school, i thought i got by with not doing any projects this year except for the hurricane project. but now we have a history project to do.. it's due on march 20th. fuckmeintheass. but [: speaking of march 20th, that's the first day of spring. so i'll be thrilled when that day comes. as long as it's warm. the other day it was so warm, and it seriously just made me generally happy, you know? winter gets so sickening. & when you feel the warmth & feel the sun on your skin, it just makes you all happy inside. & i like it a lot. but then of course TODAY, it had to get cold again & start snowing. i really hope this was the last time for that. on wednesday we get out 2 hours early again, so that's cool. i really need a boyfriend. but what's new. i need new jeans, & spring clothes & flip-flops. spring shopping is always so fun [: i love it that all the stores have out their spring merchandise. there's this adorable skirt i want at american eagle. it's white with blue stripes. and then they have a plain yellow t-shirt with a cute little pocket that i want to go with it. & i need a yellow shirt because i don't have any yellow. i was thinking today, & most people have gotten their ipod taken away at school at least once this year, but i guess i'm pretty skilled because i haven't gotten mine taken yet. and hopefully i never will. i guess i'm good at concealing it or something, haha. if i see vickers or corbett i smoothly take it off really fast & hide it in my hand, then put it back on when they're gone. i seriously need to quit listening to it so much before i go deaf. my parents are being bitches as usual. they say i'm not normal & don't act normal around them. they think i need help lmao. i used to take zoloft or paxil or something a couple of years ago, i actually kind of miss it. it calms you. but noo way am i going to the psychyatrist again. haha. yeahh.. enough on that subject. i hope i do something fun this weekend. blahh. i need clothes dammit. AND IT NEEDS TO FUCKING GET WARM. kay i'm finished. everyone have a great weekend♥


"& summer; where all the girls bare olive shoulders. it's summer, and i am here to win you over. you will be mine this year."
3-2-1 (5) TAKEOFF!

February 26th, 2006
so i finally set up my myspace. [: add me?

3-2-1 (1) TAKEOFF!

February 24th, 2006
[ mood | creative ]

howdy ho ranger jo [: ... yeah lol, today i left school because i had a really bad headache. and i don't have any work to make up because all we did in the last two classes were check the stuff we did the day before. today sort of sucked, just like all c days. but it's okay because it's the weekend, yeahhh boiii! haha. i'm not allowed to do anything tonight because i came home sick. i think i'm gonna take my space pics on my phone. since i don't have a digital camera i'll just have to use my phone as a camera. i finally figured out how to send pictures to the internet from it. so its coo. i think i might have a D in gym? too many non dresses :\ but coach turtle howard said that as long as i dress next time i won't fail. so i'm just going to dress every time now, instead of being a dumbass and slacking off. so hopefully it's nothing to worry about. it's just gym anyways. alright that's about it [: everyone have a fun weekend♥

3-2-1 (7) TAKEOFF!

this is cool♥ [Sunday
February 19th, 2006
[ mood | cold ]

Go to Google.com and type in: "[Your Name] Is" Then list the first 20 things you find.

1. Lauren is an amazing actress
2. Lauren is quoted as an expert
3. Lauren is cool
4. Lauren is a very creative, dramatic and affectionate girl
5. Lauren is a vegetarian
6. Lauren is not the delicate whispers of a mother chanting lullabies to her baby
7. Lauren is into vintage
8. Lauren is plagued with illness
9. Lauren is seriously lacking socks at this point
10. Lauren is a caring and compassionate person
11. Lauren is a great cook
12. Lauren is my favorite
13. Lauren is fashion. She lives it, she breathes it, she's in your face with it
14. Lauren is hooked up to an oxygen machine
15. Lauren is a proud to introduce you to her new album
16. Lauren is the new definition of casual elegance
17. Lauren is special
18. Lauren is relaxed
19. Lauren is a great travel companion
20. Lauren is a beautiful happy child

That was fun [: .. shit. i don't want to go to school tommorow.

3-2-1 (1) TAKEOFF!

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